Mod That Desktop!

I recently reinstalled windows on my laptop, and I right away got into customizing everything.  I want to just say a bit about how incredibly awesome some of the tools are that I used.

I decided to try out Google Desktop, and it's pretty neat.  I haven't decided if I'm going to get the Weather Channel Desktop again or not.  There are also a lot of fun little gadgets that you can choose from, and various ways to customize each one.  I am particularly fond of the Scratch Pad.  There have been a lot of times that I've needed a place to jot something and fumbled around trying to get notepad open, and I don't even want to think of all those times that I forgot to save that information.  I need to figure out how to disable showing the toolbar when tapping shift twice, since my compulsive shift-tapping causes some unwanted disruption while typing.

My new favorite app: Stardock Fences.  There is a free version that lets you use the best feature of all time: double-clicking the desktop hides all the icons.  Nevermind that you can group your icons in neat little groups, which is just the icing on the cake.  Speaking of Stardock, LogonStudio Vista now works with Windows 7!  If you don't know, that means that Windows 7 users are able to have a logon screen that isn't butt-ugly.  And still speaking of Stardock, you might check out CursorFX.  If you're looking into those Stardock products, make sure you drop in to WinCustomize.com for tons and tons of custom skins that people have already made for your downloading enjoyment.  They have a download limitation for un-registered users, but you can always just delete the wincustomize.com cookies to correct this.  My favorite CursorFX skins are made by Libardo.  I've personally got an undying love for Broken Aero (play on Vista/7 Aero theme, I imagine).  I'll plug Stardock all day long.  The software is remarkably intuitive, and a minimal drain on system resources.  They even provide competition for Steam with their own gaming client: Impulse.  Though I'm one of those heretics that likes Steam, I appreciate any small company that makes an attempt to take on a monster of one.

Finally, for all those of you who like pretty wallpapers and hate looking for them, check out Desktop Nexus.  It's a suprisingly expansive collection of gorgeous wallpapers, organized into sensible categories; and the site even saves you the trouble of knowing your display resolution, as it auto-detects your resolution and provides you the appropriate image.  It's a really cool site, and I've been hooked on the Space->Planets section (as you can see from my screenshot).

I hope you have as much fun screwing with your PC as I did with mine!

Flying with Altitude

I don't currently feel the compulsion to dig up a lot of information about this game, but there's a limited-time trial on Steam.  Essentially, it's a cartoonish dog-fighting action game, and the fun begins when you start playing against other people.
I've got to say, I'm fairly impressed.  The simplistic gameplay (with gamepad support, no less) makes it incredibly easy to just dive right in.  After a relatively short time, including the simple training stages, I was intentionally stalling to get the tactical advantage.  It's fast-paced, and the starting craft is still fairly effective.  The online PvP play is smooth and enjoyable.  If you have a Steam account, check it out (free to play for the next few days).  At the very least, it should be something fun to do with a couple hours of your time.

Daybreakers

(2009)

There are more vampire movies out there than I care to count, and I've seen a lot of them, maybe even most.  Daybreakers is unique.  It's like some gnarled love child between Equilibrium and Vampire: The Masquerade.  It's a dreary not-that-distant future setting where vampires have taken over the earth, and humans are hunted nearly to extinction.  The old, tired mythology is there, but it's not stuffed down your throat; I mean, I know that in this movie vampires don't have a reflection, and there is a method to allow them to see a live image of their own face, but not a single word is spoken about it.  There is much more attention given to daytime driving systems for cars and the blood content of coffee than how effectively staking causes final death.

The focus of the story is the starvation epidemic, and the elimination of the human food source.  After the Blade Triology (the second film has me wondering if the script was orignally written on bar napkins and old grocery receipts, half of which got wet before being typed), I really have low expectations for vampire films.  I would be lying if I said that there weren't any parts of Daybreakers that left me shaking my head, or thinking, "What a stupid idea," but the vision of the world was so complete and detailed that I felt compelled to overlook things like the military's complete lack of tactical thoroughness (I don't know about you, but if I was a vampire and I found an empty resistance hideout, I would burn it to the ground after I was done searching it).  What would newspaper headlines say in a world dominated by vampires?  Got that covered.  How would the population respond to blood rationing?  Well, there's even an interesting spin since there is a severe physiological reaction to lack of blood: you get monsters.  Now vampires hunting vampires, that's interesting.


Much of the suspense felt pretty artificial, and the action was really lacking is almost all regards, so I would say the film is a terrible thriller.  As a sci-fi, however, I was pleased.  There was no attempt at a thorough scientific explanation of the vampire condition, and there was even a mention that walking around without a pulse isn't possible, as a philosophical aside.  The finalé caught me by surprise and had the chance to be truly epic, but quickly lost momentum for no discernible reason.  Daywalkers turned out to be a mediocre movie with some fresh ideas.  Hopefully the next vampire movie that tries to reinvent the genre does so with more finesse.  A good vision and good special effects don't always mean good scriptwriting or good directing, but if you're into vampire movies, Daybreakers is worth a viewing.

Take lessons, Hollywood!

Watch in HD on YouTube



Okay, seriously, this is EXACTLY what a fighting game to film adaptation should look like.  When you buy one of the countless games in the Street Fighter franchise, it's not for the interesting character backstories, and it's not for the intricate plot.  It's because you want to spend hour after hour watching two people kick the crap out of each other.  So when I go to see a movie that is based on this franchise, I don't care if the entire plot is about Guile trying to find the corpse of his first pet rabbit as long as a lot of brutal combat is involved.  The people who go to see these movies are the people who play the games, so cater to them.  It's time the bad video game movie stigma is eliminated.  I have high hopes for Prince of Persia, lets hope they're warranted.

Snow Cake

(2006)



Carrie-Anne Moss is best known for her role as Trinity, Sigourney Weaver is best known for her role as Ellen Ripley, and arguably, Alan Rickman is best known for his role as Professor Snape (though he was by far the best villain in the entire Die Hard anthology). What do you get when you throw them all together? You get a heart-warming film about snow. Okay, it's a heartwarming film about a man with a guilty conscience dealing with the death of the daughter of a high-functioning autistic adult. Alan Rickman recommended Weaver for the role of Linda (the autist), which was a stunningly perfect choice. To prepare, Signourney Weaver studied with Ros Blackburn (a REAL autist) and was awarded Neurotypical of the Year by GRASP for her continued involvement in the Asperger's community well after her professional obligation was fulfilled. Her performance is remarkable, keeping me on the edge of my seat to see how she reacted to every statement and action around her. Alan Rickman learned nothing new about autism prior to filming, which helps to make his character genuine. Where does Carrie-Anne Moss come in? She's the one neurotypical (meaning someone *not* on the autism spectrum) person in the tiny little town of Wawa that judges Alex (played by Alan, go figure) by his actions, rather than his past.

Snow Cake is Dazlious (sorry, you'll have to watch it to know what that means), and a remarkable commentary on what it means to be a good person. I spent about as much time laughing my ass off as I did with tears welling up in my eyes, during snow-critter creation, comic-book Scrabble, and cleaning up dog vomit. The dialogue is natural, the conflicts are recognisable, and for most people that would be watching, the emotions are familiar, but the situation is absolutely unique. To anyone who suspects that they may misunderstand autism: watch this movie. If you stick to movies that involve gun-waving, shit blowing up, car chases, and other types of fantastical tomfoolery (don't get me wrong, I love those movies), then it's your loss.

Another remarkable performance by each of Alan Rickman, Sigourney Weaver, and Carrie-Anne Moss.

DOA: Dead or Alive

The Movie (2006)

I'm going to start out with what I think was done right in this movie, and don't worry, the list is short. It remains true to the standard of fan service the game franchise has established, particularly in regard to DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball (did you say DOA or T&A?). They even had a beach volleyball scene. Oh, wait, I think that's it. The script was bad, the choreography was bad, the story was bad, the casting was bad, the directing was bad, and my decision to watch this movie was bad.

I started laughing at (not with) this movie very early on, when I noticed that the script seemed to have mistakenly used "shinobi" instead of "ronin". I wanted to strangle a kitten when I noticed that Hayabusa not only didn't look the part, but didn't act the part. Hayabusa is awesome. He's the protagonist of Ninja Gaiden. He is totally super-awesome, and you don't mess with him. He's not supposed to be a whiny bitch. I wanted to harpoon a whale when I discovered that the bubbly girl on in-line skates was Helena instead of, you know, being a French opera singer, master of Pi Qua Quan.

The wire work was unnatural, as well as unrelenting, so it's really hard to ignore the mistakes. It's one thing to have someone jump up to a ledge 10 feet above them, but it's another thing entirely to have them do it without the use of their legs. This movie seemed to be trying too hard to be Black Mask when it should have simply tried harder to be DOA.

Things just went downhill as the plot progressed. Seriously, WTF tactical sunglasses!? I mean, really, WTF!? I don't even know where to start with that.

My biggest grievance is toward how this film failed completely as a VG adaptation. From spending a great many hours playing (and loving) Dead or Alive 2: Hardcore, I probably had much greater expectations of the combat in this movie than most people, but it didn't really meet any of them. In the games, every character has their own unique combat style, and they have a collection of awesome signature moves. Is that what you get in the movie? No. You get everyone pretty much doing the same thing, regardless of their background (Tina is a wrestler, not a black belt). You get a camera that's spending more time focused on the fighters' faces than their moves. Just once, I wanted to have 10 seconds where I felt like I was watching a live-action version of one of my favorite fighting games. I never got those 10 seconds. At least Doom had a few minutes of FPS action, and at least Resident Evil had Milla Jovovich. I think the only reason I was able to sit through the entire movie was because of my soft spot for that ice-queen Ayane, but ultimately, even she let me down (don't worry, Natassia, it wasn't your fault, neither was Bloodrayne). I guess it's time to break out the PS2; it's going to take weeks of DOA2 to repair the damage this movie has done.

If you ever have a compulsion to watch this movie, just watch House of Flying Daggers instead. It doesn't suck.

Assassin's Creed

Published by Ubisoft
Platform: PC

There were a great many things that I loved about this game, well-developed in almost every aspect. The free-play style of story progression is much more enjoyable than the more linear progression of similar games (Legacy of Cain, anyone?) the combat is both intuitive and exciting, the movement was fluid, the story was engaging, and having a tangible reward for scaling all the highest buildings was the icing on the cake.


There are many games that provide bizarre, in-game explanations for their mechanics for things like life bars or save points. Assassin's Creed is unique for the verisimilitude provided by The Animus. You play as Desmond, a bartender snatched up by a mysterious organization, and forced to operate a machine (The Animus) to access genetic memories of his ancestor. The majority of the game is played as the assassin Altaïr, perceived through this machine. In order to progress through your memories, you have to maintain synchronization up to the desired end-game memory, and doing things like beating up civilians, getting stabbed in the face, or falling from a high building causes you to lose this synchronization. In the event that synchronization is lost completely, the machine then returns you to the most recent stable memory. Even better, this amazing technology allows you to skip past the more boring parts of the story, such as traveling between cities, and sleeping at the Assassin's Bureau. However, this system is by no means perfect. I had a little trouble accepting that anyone would be okay after a 200 ft. fall into a cart of hay, even if I looked awesome doing it. I was indeed dismayed to discover that Altaïr never learned to swim, as falling in water deeper than a foot resulted in DEATH.

The brilliant musical score from Jesper Kyd is indeed a nice touch, and helped me to ignore those times when Altaïr's cape glitched through pretty much everything. I felt a real sense of urgency as I fled aggressors across rooftops, and a real sense of serenity when I was perched high above the city. The interaction with the environment feels very natural, and there were very few times where I didn't start climbing on something just because it was fun, especially with bystanders shooting snide comments like, "He's going to hurt himself. And when he does, I won't help him!" The map is helpful, but I frequently found myself treating streets as obstacles to leap over rather than pathways on which to walk. Rooftops are home to guards ready to stick Altaïr full of arrows, but with a little practice, I learned that a skilled assassin can dispose of an archer before he can finish telling you that you're not supposed to be there. It's pretty simple: run up, and stab them in the neck before they get a chance to draw a sword. If you're lucky, their body falls from the roof, and you get to hear the guards down below shouting pointlessly, "Who did this!?" If you're feeling particularly sadistic, you can even pick them off from above with your throwing knives.

Oh, the combat. How I loved the combat. With a full arsenal, you can choose from your wristblade, longsword, short blade/throwing knives, or your fists. When you piss off a few guards, your choices are effectively limited to the short blade and the longsword, but both of these are loads of fun. Combat is much more a system of timing than complicated and frantic sequences of buttons, and after a bit of practice, I found myself intentionally taking on enemies by the dozens. The counterattack is indisputably the most powerful ability at your disposal, responsible for somewhere around 90% of my kills. What makes the combat so engaging, at least to me, is the sheer brutality. A very dark part of me is obscenely delighted when I hear the distinctive crack when the short blade is plunged into an adversary's skull. The ground doesn't get stained red, but you do get to see sprays of blood when a throat gets slashed or a knight gets impaled. And if you're really bloodthirsty, you can hang around your collection of corpses until more meat shows up to get added to the pile. If you're lucky, one of them might even make a run for his life, and you can chase him down and take him out with the wristblade. As enjoyable as the exploration happens to be, it's the excellent fighting system that kept me engaged hour after hour. It's refreshing to see such a simple system so expertly deployed.

The extra plot events often seemed silly ("Collect all the flags I lost and I will tell you some interesting information!"), but they remained fun no less. If those citizens only knew that the only reason I saved them was because it meant I got to kill a bunch of people....

All-in-all, it is an excellent game, even through the repetition. It helps a lot that my Logitech gamepad was supported, though I had to learn that when it said "Button x" it really meant "Button x+1". This is a minor glitch I am willing to overlook. I would have to say I recommend this title to anyone who enjoys action/adventure games.